Boosting Self-Esteem

There’s a quiet struggle in many young adults with ADHD, and it often starts with how they see themselves. Let’s talk about self-esteem and confidence.

Self-esteem is the belief that you have value simply because you exist. It’s about knowing you're lovable and worthy, no matter what you do or achieve. Confidence, however, is about believing in your ability to succeed in specific situations. It’s more task-based. Think of self-esteem as the foundation and confidence as what’s built on top.

Young adults with ADHD often struggle with self-esteem. They’ve likely experienced more setbacks, more redirection, and more criticism—sometimes well-intentioned, sometimes not. They may have had a harder time focusing, received negative attention for impulsivity, or been compared to peers in ways that felt discouraging. Over time, this can impact how they see themselves and what they believe they can do.

One practical step to help them rebuild is supporting the development of executive functioning skills. Planning is a great example. Whether it’s a wall calendar or a digital one, helping them create and stick to a plan can reinforce their sense of capability. It gives them evidence that they can follow through.

Parents can also support their young adults by being mindful of how and when they give feedback. Constructive criticism is helpful, but timing matters. If a conversation about grades comes weeks after the fact, it can feel like punishment for something they’ve already worked on. This can cause frustration or shut down communication.

It’s also helpful to notice the tone being used. Is it accusatory or curious? Even if you don’t agree with their perspective, showing openness can make your feedback more digestible.

Coaching can offer another layer of support. It gives young adults a space to reflect, gain skills, and feel supported by someone who believes in their growth. This outside encouragement can help them develop their own inner belief system over time.

Start small. Celebrate the wins. Over time, these small steps build both self-esteem and confidence.